This Crazy Roller Coaster We Call Life!

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have completely given EVERYTHING over to God. It is not easy. In fact, it is one of the hardest things in life to do. But when you do it the rewards are amazing!

Last Tuesday I got a phone call at work to do an interview at one of the brand new schools in our district. I was surprised, because it was for a position that I DIDN'T even apply for. It was one of these situations where my name was in the job bank, and they pulled it out. I was surprised and excited.

So I got to talking to one of my friends at work, and she had recently spoken to this principal about me. The conversation wasn't SPECIFICALLY about me, but my name came up. A few weeks later, I have an interview with her.

I was really excited about the position, but I told God it was in HIS hands. I wasn't worried or nervous about it. I just laid it all over to him. I was still hopeful, and I still wanted the job, but I left it up to him.

The interview went beautifully. I was confident in my answers and felt really good when I left.

Then it was the weekend, and we were gone. I barely even thought about the job.

Monday morning, as I'm walking in (later than usual) to school, I wondered to myself when I would hear about the job. I go into the office and I had a message. The principal was calling to let me know I had gotten the job!! I was ECSTATIC!!

So I am frantically running around trying to get everything in order for the job switch. I am letting the appropriate people know, and telling my family and friends. Things are going great. I am gathering as much information and as many resources as possible. Today I went over to the unit office to fill out some paperwork. When I got back to school I got a phone call from Brian.

He had heard from our caseworker. We are getting the sister permanently. It is not going to happen for a couple of months. We are going to do several more sibling visits so that she can get more used to us, but it is REALLY FINALLY happening! Everything is falling into place. When you truly trust God, he blesses you beyond your wildest imagination. Prayers have been answered in my life. Things I have been praying about for years. It was all for God's perfect timing.

I was beginning to think that I would never have a real teaching job. I was beginning to think that I would never have a real family. I thought I might never have a daughter. Could this be my family? Are these the children God meant for us all along? I will love and appreciate these children in a way that is different (not better or worse) than most can understand. When you desires something so badly for so long, it feels too good to be true when it all starts falling in place. How AWESOME is my God?!?

Lord, thank you for all the blessings that you have poured onto my family in the past few days. I am so undeserving, yet you provide nonetheless! You are AMAZING. Help me to continue trusting you for everything and giving it all to you!

The Weekend is Over

It is always bittersweet on Sunday evenings. I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with the family and with my church family as well, but sad that it's back to the grind of the work week. I am particularly sad this evening as we just returned the boys' sister to their aunt. I am feeling so much better after meeting their aunt and seeing her love for all three children. I am still, however, sad that they can't be with her full time. As soon as we left, the oldest said, "I wish my sister was still here." How sweet. They had their moments where there was bickering and pestering, but overall it was a love filled weekend. I can't count how many times I heard "I love you" come out of someone's mouth!

I don't know God's plan for these children, and I am not about to question what he has in mind. I am only going to continue to be prayerful for these three angels. I recently was talking to a group of women at my church and was asked to tell a little about our situation. It was extremely uncomfortable for me, because I don't like to draw attention to myself. But I remember saying that when you trust God, you trust him. It doesn't mean you trust him sometimes and other times you question him. I am human. There are times when I ask God "why." But I still believe that he knows what is best for all of us. I have also learned that just because bad things are happening does not mean I am being punished.

When the other three kids were returned home I thought for sure it was the wrong decision and couldn't believe it. Now I see that maybe that was the permanent family for us. Maybe this is and maybe it isn't. Only time will tell. That's the beauty of trusting God. I don't have to worry, because HE already knows the outcome!

Lord, help me to keep you in the forefront of my thoughts. Help me remember that your timing is always perfect. Thank you for loving me and blessing my family in so many ways!!

Faith in the Court System

Tomorrow we have a court hearing. It is the six month check up basically. It always makes me nervous to go to court because everything falls into the hands of the judge. I just always pray that the Lord is working through our judge. This time, we are pretty sure that we are just going to get a continuation. We've heard that the kids' mother's attorney is not going to be present. It is unlikely that anything will happen without her judge present. My heart wrenches for these children who've been put through termoil for 2.5 years and the system just keeps putting off a decision. I pray that something is decided soon for their permanency. Whether it be for them to go back home or to stay with us, I just pray that God gives me the compassion and courage to deal with it.