It is always bittersweet on Sunday evenings. I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with the family and with my church family as well, but sad that it's back to the grind of the work week. I am particularly sad this evening as we just returned the boys' sister to their aunt. I am feeling so much better after meeting their aunt and seeing her love for all three children. I am still, however, sad that they can't be with her full time. As soon as we left, the oldest said, "I wish my sister was still here." How sweet. They had their moments where there was bickering and pestering, but overall it was a love filled weekend. I can't count how many times I heard "I love you" come out of someone's mouth!
I don't know God's plan for these children, and I am not about to question what he has in mind. I am only going to continue to be prayerful for these three angels. I recently was talking to a group of women at my church and was asked to tell a little about our situation. It was extremely uncomfortable for me, because I don't like to draw attention to myself. But I remember saying that when you trust God, you trust him. It doesn't mean you trust him sometimes and other times you question him. I am human. There are times when I ask God "why." But I still believe that he knows what is best for all of us. I have also learned that just because bad things are happening does not mean I am being punished.
When the other three kids were returned home I thought for sure it was the wrong decision and couldn't believe it. Now I see that maybe that was the permanent family for us. Maybe this is and maybe it isn't. Only time will tell. That's the beauty of trusting God. I don't have to worry, because HE already knows the outcome!
Lord, help me to keep you in the forefront of my thoughts. Help me remember that your timing is always perfect. Thank you for loving me and blessing my family in so many ways!!
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